Whenever I tell people that I receive mean messages or comments, people tend to not fully believe me. I mean, come on....it's women's softball. Who could be that passionate about the sport to send a rude message to 20-something year old girl??? I mean, I guess it's kind of good that people are paying attention and feel passionate enough to send the message......(looking for positives here, people).
Anyways, internet trolls have become far too abundant and it seems to be a sign that our generation is in a slow decline of proper social interactions. Far too many people can hide behind a computer screen and never have to face their victim face-to-face. (Ok, maybe victim is a bit strong of a word, but you get the point). People who lack social skills and any sort of guts to say what they want to an actual person can easily sit and type their attacks out.
So, this post is dedicated to you! Congratulations!!! I mean, it's obvious that you're bitter about some things. Maybe you got cut from your JV basketball team in the 5th grade. Maybe you were the kid that was consistently picked last for dodgeball. (Don't worry, that was me too!). Hell, maybe you even got dumped by your internet girlfriend/boyfriend, who you never met in person because you didn't feel like talking to him/her in person, in fear that you wouldn't have the time to think up your clever responses that you do when you're typing on your computer.
It honestly takes a lot to get me upset. You have to really know me in order to get a true reaction. Only my friends know how to stab me in the heart, and luckily I have really really good friends, so that never happens. So, for anyone who sends these messages, I'm sorry but you only provided me with some fleeting entertainment.
I only picked a few because, to be honest, a lot of them are just really stupid and pointless. Many of them have to do with me and my illegal pitching, which unless you are an avid softball fan, have no idea what that entails. Basically, I was the poster child for "crowhopping" during my junior year at Michigan. My drag foot comes off the ground by just a hair, which is illegal. Honestly, it doesn't give me any real advantage (why it's illegal). I actually started pitching faster when I changed my motion to drag. However, umpires cracked down that year and I became the ring leader in circus softball games. The worst one was Michigan vs. Texas where I was called 38 times for an illegal pitch. Illegal pitches lead to a subsequent ball on the batter and if there are runners on base, they get to advance. The fact that we only lost that game 2-0 was a miracle. Anyways, a lot of the messages I got involved this illegal pitching and old men telling me I should be ashamed of myself for not correcting it. Just to quickly address them: I pitched the same way since I was 12 years old. That's millions of pitches thrown. And you're asking me to correct it within a couple of weeks??? Clearly you have zero knowledge of how muscle memory works or just how difficult (if not impossible) that is to do. So, thanks for the branding of being the illegal pitcher, y'all. Glad to be the first one there was (complete sarcasm).
Let the fun begin!!!
This first one was a comment left on a YouTube video (that was not made by me). If you haven't seen the video of a young man, named Thomas, nervously make his way through a date proposal, I think you should find the time to watch it:
First things first. No, I did not go on a date with him. I've been called heartless by some of my friends for not following up with him. But, I'm not up to turning him down. He seems fragile as it is. So, I just kind of let it fade out. He never contacted me directly - I found out we were Facebook friends after I had the video sent to me by one of my Twitter followers.
But, one of the comments left for the video was:
"Jordan Taylor looks like a dude. I'll bet she doubles as a LB for the football team. If you're going to ask out a girl on youtube...at least make it a hot one."
Well, damn sir. With a username of "moreNLIGHTENDthanYOU" I'm going to have to assume that he is, in fact, more intelligent than I am, so there is really no use arguing. Although, I will point out the fact that you misspelled "enlightened." You're missing a few E's. I will also point out that I would make the most pathetic linebacker that the sport of football has ever seen. Trust me, I know I'm a big girl. I have curves and enough ass to spare for 3 people. AND DAMN PROUD OF IT, thank you very much. But a linebacker? Have you ever seen a football game?! Those guys are huge. If you're truly comparing me to that, than you're just a douche. And you would probably be the worst recruiting scout football has ever known. But, I'm going to assume since you are so intelligent and enlightened, that you spend many hours in the library and haven't actually ever seen a football game. I would make an awful excuse for a football player. Although, I will still gladly kick your ass.
And p.s. word to the wise, so obviously you, mr. enlightened, making fun of a girl's weight is just plain dumb. Especially an athlete.
This one actually got me. It was sent to me after my last game in a University of Michigan uniform. After our #10 ranked team was upset by Kentucky in Regionals. It was one of those upsets that was just flat out, not supposed to happen. We were way too good of a team to not make it through to at least Super-Regionals. Alas, that's what happened. And much of the reason for us not making it to the next round can be placed on me. I was pitching one of the best games of my life. We had a 1-0 lead into the bottom of the 7th. The first batter battled for about 12 pitches before putting a change-up an inch fair over the right field line. Apparently that was the last "game-worn" ball and I was issued a succession of brand-new softballs. For anyone who doesn't know softball, pitching with a brand-new ball is really difficult. It's slick and hard to grip. What happened from there was 3 walks, a strikeout, and 1 seeing-eye blooper from a girl who was batting a buck 70 on the season. This was one of those moments where everything was working against us, against me, and I simply didn't rise to the challenge. After that catastrophic 7th inning and end to my career, I came back to this message:
"Well at least you made Michigan semi-proud. Then again you were kind of like the rest of the sports, a glimpse of hope, then you crash and burn. If only you hadn't choked, you could've been one of the best. Sorry your last game in a Michigan uniform had to be a failure."
To say I was a hot mess after the loss would be a severe understatement. I didn't make it off the field before tears started to roll. Luckily Hutch was there to meet me after the chalk, because my knees basically gave out. To me, I had let down my entire team and not only broke their hearts, but shattered my own. I was not consonable. No one could get me to stop crying. It took me about 30 minutes to even gain the courage to walk through the courtyard of all the fans. I was offered to be escorted around the back of the building by our coaches. However, I knew that I owed these amazing fans a huge debt of gratitude and thank them one last time. Once in the lockeroom, my planned out apology to the team just turned into speechlessness. I had no words that could make up for what I hadn't done for them. If you think you could cut me any deeper than I already was, than you are sorely mistaken. Criticizing athletes usually has no impact, because we are our biggest critics. Unfortunately, since we are in the "entertainment" department, people find it necessary to project their opinions onto us. Even more unfortunate is that I was called a "choke artist" by a fellow Wolverine athlete. Not anyone on the softball team. For this one special person, I reserve my most deathly of the stare downs. Level 10 stare down - a you-would-be-obliterated-in-a-million-pieces-if-looks-could-kill type of stare down.
This last one was a message that was sent to me following Team USA's most recent World Cup win. Our team was brand new to each other and even younger than the year before. The median age is 23, with over half of our team still playing for their college teams. We have a lot of fun together, constantly making light of situations in the dugout. It's just who we are. We have a bunch of goofballs - mainly Sam Fischer, Amanda Chidester, Jackie Traina, and Keilani Ricketts. Just because we have fun does not mean that we aren't focused, or take our positions on the team seriously.
"U AND YOUR TEAM ACT LIKE A BUNCH OF 10 YEAR OLDS. I KNOW U PLAY A FUN GAME , HOWEVER U AND YOUR TEAMATES NEED TO WORK ON YOUR STYLE. U GIRLS HAVE N O STYLE. U AND YOUR TEAM LACK LOOKS , AS WELL. I'M NOT SAYING U SHOULD LOOK LIKE A MODEL , BUT ONE 7 WOULD BE NICE"
The caps lock really made me feel your passion. Really, as soon as I saw those caps lock, I sat straight up in my seat and came to attention like I was being commanded by a drill sergeant. Great touch. Now, I'm going to assume by some random spaces and misspelled words that this caps lock was not by choice. Rather, I'm going to take a wild guess and say you were drunk when you wrote this message. Somehow, the caps lock got hit and maybe the keys wouldn't stop moving for long enough for you to focus and find the button again. I'm also going to assume you were drunk because who in a sober mind decides to send an angry, all caps locked message to a girl who just won a World Cup title. A girl who pitched 1 inning of this game. Not sure why I was the target of your aggression. Perhaps my name was the easiest to remember (shoutout to Marge and Johnny for a great name!). Maybe you just saw my face on TV and thought that girl needs to be yelled at. RIGHT NOW! And as for our team lacking looks......really sir? You don't find a single person on our team to be attractive. I seriously doubt you have Playboy bunnies or models running around your apartment (or your double wide). Our team definitely doesn't consist of these types of girls, but we are in no way ugly. Thanks for the attempted self-esteem dip, though. Like really??? A 7?! You wouldn't give any of our girls a 7??? Might I remind you, too, that we are PLAYING SOFTBALL. Aka, were sweating our asses off in the Oklahoma heat and diving around dirt and grass. You try to keep your make-up and pony tail in perfect shape. Let me tell you, sir, it's REALLY DIFFICULT!
|We're all so ugly, I can't handle it....|
I wish I could say I was making these up. I promise I'm not. I really do receive messages like this. Hopefully you found as much entertainment as I did out of them. Obviously, the alternative would be for me to get upset and that would just be letting the writers get what they want! I'd rather not let that happen. It's just way too much fun to stay happy and ruin their plans ;)
So, if you were planning on sending a hateful message, I'd avoid wasting your time. Or do. Either way, it really makes no difference to me!